Month: March 2024

About the Men in Lagos

Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad by Damilare Kuku

A Five-Star Book Review

I received Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad by Damilare Kuku as a BookSparks Spring 2024 Ambassador, and I am grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts about this beautiful book, already a bestseller in Ms. Kuku’s native Nigeria.

About Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad

Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad is a collection of 12 short stories, each with a unique storyteller’s experience about a relationship that ends in loss, betrayal, or even devastation. From women scorned by cheating husbands to girls seeking love from men who won’t commit, these stories are universal in romantic comedies (or anti-romantic comedies), but Ms. Kuku brings a unique perspective to each story, weaving Nigerian culture, a bit of karma, and feminism into her tales.

What I Enjoyed About Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad

I enjoyed all 12 of the stories in Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad. Overall, what I loved the most:

  • Cultural Representation – I loved learning about the societal worlds and cultural expectations within Lagos communities. Nigeria is a fascinating country, and I really enjoyed this contemporary look at life in the country’s largest city.
  • The Voices – The stories are written in second person, giving a clear view of each character’s experience. Not every story is told from the woman’s point of view either. Sometimes the male love interest or an outsider tell the story, bringing variety and interest to stories.
  • Lyrical Writing – These stories are beautifully written. Ms. Kuku writes like she’s crafting song lyrics, and she uses her skills to envelop you into every story.

My Final Thoughts About Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad

This book of short stories is powerful and refreshing. There’s a lot of romantic spice, so if you’re sensitive to that, be warned. However, the stories are unique and exceptional, making this a highly recommended book for those who are interested in a diverse read.

A Night to Forget: Prom Mom Book Review

Prom Mom by Laura Lippman

A Four-Star Book Review

This review is well overdue as I finished Prom Mom back in January 2024. Laura Lippman’s book is mystery fiction that keeps you guessing about its unlikeable characters throughout the story, making it a worthwhile read for me.

Summary of Prom Mom (No Spoilers)

When Amber Glass disappeared from Baltimore, she hoped to escape the nickname the newspapers had given her: “Prom Mom.” After all, what better way to portray a young girl who left a newborn baby to die in a hotel room after prom, claiming she had no memory of a birth? But now, years later, Amber is back and she can’t stay away from the boy who entranced her in high school: Joe. Despite his marriage and success, Joe feels the same, and what proceeds is a twisting mind bender of a story: who loves whom, and what really happened in those early morning hours so many years ago?

What I Enjoyed About Prom Mom

The characters were the strongest part of this novel. None of them are particularly likable, but Ms. Lippman takes care to give them nuanced personalities and quirks that keep you from trusting any of them:

  • Amber has the most to prove when she arrives back in Baltimore. Her life was destroyed in high school, and she deliberately sets the stage to connect with Joe.
  • Joe seems oblivious at first, but he’s not innocent. He doesn’t stay away from Amber’s flirtations, despite being married, and his bad business deals weigh on him.
  • Meredith, Joe’s wife, was one of the most interesting characters to me. She has designed a perfect life for her and Joe, but that perfection is a ruse, as we quickly learn. Meredith has her own goals, and she’s determined to reach them.

What I Wish Was Different About Prom Mom

Prom Mom is a good mystery book. I liked it for the story and the twists, but I thought the plot device of setting the story during COVID was unnecessary. The pandemic was a horrific time period in our history, but it felt like this was a play to get attention.

My Final Thoughts About Prom Mom

If you’re looking for a good mystery novel about a woman on a journey for redemption, Prom Mom is a book for you. With great characters and strong writing, it’s one I’d recommend.

First Lie Wins (May Contain Spoilers)

First Lie Wins by Ashley Elston

A Five-Star Book Review

First Lie Wins by Ashley Elston was a Book of the Month pick that I originally dismissed but, after seeing it all over Bookstagram, FOMO kicked in and I had to read it. I was not disappointed.

Summary of First Lie Wins

I hate summarizing thrillers because I’m conscious of giving away spoilers. I’ll do my best here, but consider yourself warned.

Evie Porter is not who she says she is. She’s working a mark, Ryan, assigned by Mr. Smith, her mysterious, lethal boss. Unfortunately, she’s starting see a future with Ryan. But Mr. Smith is determined not to lose hold of his best asset, and he’ll do anything he can to keep Evie under control.

What I Enjoyed About First Lie Wins

This thriller is a cat-and-mouse chase that keeps you turning the page. Here’s what I enjoyed the most:

  • Evie: She is smart and has a little bit of sass. When things go south, she takes control.
  • The flashbacks: These really help readers understand Evie’s origin story and her ties to Mr. Smith.
  • The climax: I can’t give away the ending here, but it was definitely a satisfying result.

My Final Thoughts About First Lie Wins

First Lie Wins, Elston’s first adult novel, is a fast-paced thriller with a strong female lead at the helm. I am excited to see what the Hulu adaptation with Octavia Spencer brings.

The Myth of Having It All Figured Out by 40

When we’re young, there’s this pervasive belief that by the time we hit 40, we’ll have everything sorted out. It’s a notion ingrained in us, perhaps from observing our parents or society’s expectations or all those movies we watched as kids. But, as we grow older, these assumptions don’t match up to reality. At least for me.

As a kid, I admired how effortlessly my parents seemed to navigate life’s complexities. By the time they were in their 40s, they had already raised two children, welcomed a new surprise baby (me), maintained careers, and managed their household with apparent ease. Their daily routines were structured, their responsibilities clear-cut. My mom was the epitome of a great homemaker. Our house was the fun house while remaining immaculate with a pantry stocked for any occasion. Meanwhile, my dad balanced hard work with being present for our family every day.

Compared to their apparent mastery of adulthood, I am at a loss. Parenthood, marriage, homeownership – each feels like an insurmountable challenge, leaving me overwhelmed by inadequacy. Work consumes my thoughts, leaving little room for anything else. While it provides financial security, the sense of fulfillment I crave remains elusive. There is no work/life balance here. There is no balance, period.

New generations make fun of Boomers, but as a young Generation Xer, I wonder: How why did life seem so effortless to them? Was it out of necessity, or did they genuinely desire the life they built? Was it ambition or circumstance?

I realize that having it all figured out by 40 is a myth. Life is messy, unpredictable, and constantly evolving. Right now, I have to figure out the day-by-day and not focus on the big decisions. Maybe that’s how my parents treated things too: little steps to make a big life work. I’m not naive enough to say that while they appeared to have everything under control, they too faced their own challenges and uncertainties.

Even though I’m a perfectionist who is constantly comparison with an idealized Pinterest version of career woman/mother, I know the myth is bullshit. Instead of striving for perfection or comparing myself to an idealized version of adulthood, I should embrace the journey, allow myself to falter, and perhaps redefine my priorities along the way. Realize I won’t have all answers, but I can show courage and resilience.

In the end, we’re all just trying to find our way in this chaotic and beautiful journey called life. And perhaps, in embracing our own unique path, we’ll discover that having it all figured out was never the goal – it was the journey itself that mattered most.

Falling into Hole: An Unexpected Experience with Depression

Depression is a tricky monster, one that climbs in from the shadows when you least expect it, and then plunges you into a dark hole with no visible escape route. It strikes indiscriminately. For me, the monster made a return visit about a month ago, coinciding with what would have been my dad’s birthday, which is followed closely by the anniversary of his death, a double blow to my heart.

In the midst of grappling with the still-present sting of grief and loss, I’ve found myself sinking deeper into the crevices of depression. Staring at my computer each morning feels like being enveloped by an oppressive fog. Doing anything other than sleep requires massive effort when I feel like any glimmer of hope or joy has been shut down. Frustratingly, my migraine symptoms have gotten better as my depression increases, two opposing lines in the graph of my life.

My psychiatrist added a new medication, and I am cautiously optimistic. But, being only on Day 2, the climb out of the depression hole feels daunting. I’ve been here before. I know I’ll reach the surface again, but clawing to the top takes so much more than slipping a pill in my mouth each day.

To anyone who finds themselves in this hole with me, know that you are not alone. The poet Rumi says, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” May we find solace in our scars, knowing that they are a testament to our strength and resilience in the face of depression. And may we emerge from the fight against this monster renewed and revitalized, ready to embrace the light once more.