January 2023 – Bookish Brain

Couch to 5K and Back Again

In 2013, when I met my now husband, I told him that I wanted to run a 5k. I was about 70 pounds overweight but had lofty wishes — not goals, let’s be clear. I wanted to run, but I didn’t put the willpower or discipline behind it. You know that saying, “A goal without a plan is just a wish”? That was me.

Fast forward to 2023, coming up on the 10th anniversary of our first date, I gladly report back to my husband: “I ran a 5K today.” Ran may be a little bit of stretch, but I can jog a 5K. So how did that happen?

Run for the Kid

It was an overcast day in May, not yet boiling hot, but the humidity was wavering around us. I was panting on the side of our subdivision’s street, staring at my husband and stepson about 500 feet in front of me. J and I were so proud of L’s involvement in his junior high track team that summer, and it was a perfect chance for me to finally get to the 5K goal with the added benefit of bonding with L. That first jog hurt! I couldn’t breathe, my heartbeat was well over 150 bpm, and I couldn’t go over a block at a time. It definitely was not a successful training session.

The Couch to 5K Plan

I decided I’d be more comfortable training on my own, so I downloaded the Couch to 5K app once again and decided to try it. I’d done the program in 2019 but on a treadmill and that didn’t do me the service I needed it to do when I joined the St. Jude’s Run that year. I’d only run two or three 5Ks before that race, and I ended up walking it. I promised myself that this time would be different.

If you’re not familiar with this program, check out the Couch to 5K website. It’s a popular program that you complete in intervals of walking and jogging, three times a week. You slowly build longer jog times and less walking, eventually getting to 30 minutes of non-stop jogging, which is the time goal for completing a 5K. Those first few training sessions were brutal. I could barely complete Week 1, Session 1: jogging for 60 seconds and then walking for 90 seconds in eight interval sets. But, I kept at it. I forced myself to walk after completing the session so that I could complete a full 3.1 miles because I wanted to condition myself to do a 5K.

By the time July hit, I completed the program and kept going. I was far from hitting a 30-minute 5K, so it took me a few more weeks of jogging consistently to get to that distance. At that point I wasn’t concerned about time or pace. I just wanted to jog a 5K without stopping. And I did it! I was so proud.

The Rundown

At that point, I was jogging a 5K every day, rarely taking a rest day. And that’s what did me in. By the end of September I was tired. I was bored of the same routine and path around the subdivision. Also, work was ramping up with lots of work meetings and a full October of travel, so I knew it was going to be tough to keep up my routine. And that was my downfall. By the end of October I had started regaining the pounds I’d lost and was walking instead of jogging. That continued through the end of 2022. I ran a few 5Ks and returned to the Couch to 5K app several times. I wasn’t in the mindset and didn’t have the determination to get back to my jogging routine. Add in three months of migraines and stress headaches, and I backslid on all accounts.

Begin Again

By the end of 2022, I was ready to start again. One of my And, I can say now that I have run at least one 5K this January. Am I as fast as I was in September? No. Am I as fit as I was in September? No. Am I as focused as I was in September? Also no, but with a caveat. I’m getting there. Two of my 23 goals in 2023 are related to this journey: 1) Walk/jog 21 miles every week, and 2) Run an in-person 5K race. I’m scheduled to run a Valentine’s race on February 5. I haven’t been able to train as hard outside because it’s January in Indiana, meaning snow and ice, and I don’t want to break a hip. But I’m walking, I’m jogging, and most importantly I’m moving my body. I feel positive and focused to get back to and exceed 2022 fitness leve.

And that, my friends, is better than any medal I could win.

23 in 2023

I had every intention of publishing this post on January 1st, but failed! Luckily, I’d put a lot of thought into the following already, so here it goes–out into the interwebs and ready to keep me accountable.

Taking inspiration from others, I decided to put together my list of 23 in 2023: 23 goals I want to accomplish this year. Some are small, indulgent plans while others are big and life-impacting. So here it goes.

23 Goals for 2023

Attend church on a weekly basis (unless we’re out of town)
Go on a date with Jim every month
Have a kids’ experience every month
Get a tattoo of the kids’ initials
Celebrate Ryley’s graduation
Have a family photo shoot
Attend a Notre Dame football game with Jim
Implement a cooking routine three nights a week (start meal prepping)
Lose 50 pounds by 31 December 2023
Walk and/or jog 21 miles a week
Run an in-person 5K race
Develop a weight-lifting routine twice a week
Go sugar-free for a week
Change my behavior from getting up to binge at night
Drink 128 ounces (a gallon) of water a day
Learn 3 new physical coping skills
Build the map of my life from Tara Schuster’s Buy Yourself the F**king Lilies:
- Where does my self-esteem come from
- What are my principles
- What is my affirmation
Keep a daily written journal (morning pages or other)
Keep a personal budget of $250 per month
Write a new blog post every other week (26 total)
Read 100 books, with 36 books from my TBR collection
Abstain from book-buying for one month
Reach 7,500 Bookstagram followers

Because I love to segment and chunk a list into categories, I focused on several different areas of my life for this list.

Focus 1: Stronger Relationships

First, there are the relationship goals that focus on spending time with my family, expressing my love, and growing my faith. There are seven of these relationship-based goals.

Attend church on a weekly basis (unless we’re out of town)
Go on a date with my husband every month
Have a kids’ experience every month
Get a tattoo of the kids’ initials
Celebrate Ryley’s graduation
Have a family photo shoot
Attend a Notre Dame football game with my husband

Focus 2: Better Physical Health

And then there are the health goals, which range from cooking more to building a better, healthier body. There are eight goals here, but the most important ones to me are Numbers 2 and 7, losing weight and stopping my binge eating behaviors.

Implement a cooking routine three nights a week (start meal prepping)
Lose 50 pounds by 31 December 2023
Walk and/or jog 21 miles a week
Run an in-person 5K race
Develop a weight-lifting routine twice a week
Go sugar-free for a week
Change my behavior from getting up to binge at night
Drink 128 ounces (a gallon) of water a day

Another goal that needs to be on this portion of the list is to identify the cause of my migraines and find some type of regimen that keeps them at bay.

Focus 3: Improved Mental Health

Obviously it’s integral for me to achieve better mental health. 2022 was a year filled with anxiety, more so than depression, so I’m keyed into the importance of better mental health. There are only two goals on this portion of the list, but they’re really important.

Learn 3 new physical coping skills
Build the map of my life from Tara Schuster’s Buy Yourself the F**king Lilies:
- Where does my self-esteem come from
- What are my principles
- What is my affirmation

Focus 4: More Creativity, Less Spending

This last category of my 23 in 2023 is a catch-all of how I want to be more creative and more discerning about my entertainment. Some of these are very indulgent – like growing my Bookstagram (@jessicareadsmanybooks), but hey, they’re still goals.

Keep a daily written journal (morning pages or other)
Keep a personal monthly budget for entertainment (i.e. books)
Write a new blog post every other week (26 total)
Read 100 books, with 36 books from my TBR collection
Abstain from book-buying for one month
Reach 7,500 Bookstagram followers

Next Steps

So how is my progress so far? Well, it’s the fourth Sunday of the year, and we haven’t been to church yet. I’ve gained about 2.5 pounds, but I have walked/jogged 21 miles each week, and I’m pretty consistent about writing morning pages (or sometimes evening pages). I have started keeping weekly goal lists and monitoring everything so that I can make adjustments and see progress.

Do you have goals for 2023?

The Vibrant Years

Book Review: The Vibrant Years by Sonali Dev

With gorgeous writing, amazing characters, and deep representation, The Vibrant Years by Sonali Dev is an excellent read about family, womanhood, and choosing your path. I really enjoyed reading this book, especially because of the exploration of Indian culture and how each character finds their way amidst social expectations.

The Vibrant Years is a great read that is full of humor and heart, and it’s a Mindy’s Book Studio pick! I received my copy from Dart Frogg Communications in exchange for my honest review.

What I loved about The Vibrant Years

The Vibrant Years is a beautiful character study of three Indian women finding their authentic selves against social and cultural norms, all the while finding romance (and failed dates) along the coastline of Florida.

Bindu, the matriarch, loves her daughter-in-law Aly and her granddaughter Cullie with a ferocity that only she can show. But when she receives a gift from someone in her past, Bindu fears that the family she has built will fall apart.
Aly finally started to pursue her dream of becoming a newscaster, but she lost her marriage in the process. Now, she continues to face barriers in the workplace and questions whether her lack of romance will be forever.
Cullie channeled her genius into an app that helps her and thousands of others improve their mental health. But now her (married) ex-lover and her boss are trying to change her vision. She must invent a new app to keep her dream alive.

When an unexpected event occurs, Aly and Cullie rally around Bindu. Soon the three women are on journeys that are both hopeful and humorous.

Five Stars for Someday, Maybe

Someday, Maybe by Onyi Nwabineli – A Five-Star Book Review

What would you do if you lost the person closest to you? And how would your response be if that person chose to leave by suicide? That’s what Eve, the protagonist of Someday, Maybe, must experience when she finds her husband, Quentin, in a pool of his own blood. Eve doesn’t know why her Q died by suicide. All she knows is grief at this unimaginable loss.

What I Loved about Someday, Maybe

This book, the debut by Onyi Nwabineli, is a deeply moving novel about grief, family (both born and found), and grappling with death. I loved Someday, Maybe for so many reasons, including the characters, the writing, and the message.

The Characters

Much of this book is a character study of a widow who is entrenched in guilt, shame, and loss as Eve tries to understand why Q would die by suicide. He did not leave a note, so there is no evident answer, despite Eve’s efforts to find the reasons. I loved Eve’s journey as her actions and thoughts were realistic and uncontrived. And, just as important, I loved the side characters in this story. From Eve’s Nigerian parents and grandmother, to her headstrong sister Gloria and her blunt brother Nate, to her best friend Bee and the people she meets along the way, these characters are four-dimensional, true-to-life loved ones who help Eve find her way. And then there’s Aspen, Q’s mother and Eve’s antagonist. Somehow Nwabineli makes this snobbish, hateful woman a realistic portrait of a mother in grief, too.

The Writing

I highlighted so many passages in Someday, Maybe. Not only are Nwabineli’s words powerful and impressive, but she fits together sentences and meanings, uses metaphor to show us the pain Eve feels, and lets us sit in Eve’s grief alongside her. This is one example:

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
Onyi Nwabineli (Someday, Maybe, pg. 337)

The Message

Reading this book at the end of December 2022 (and finishing it on January 1, 2023) felt especially timely as we saw news of Stephen Laurel “tWitch” Boss’s suicide. News story after news story have posited questions about tWitch’s death by suicide, as the dancer and DJ appeared to have a happy family, career, and life. But it’s not our place to know all the details of why. It’s our job to have empathy for his family and friends, letting them grieve and share if/when they are ready. Also, it’s our job to understand that whatever outward presence a person shows is not always a true indicator of their internal thoughts, struggles, and feelings. That is the message that I felt carry through Someday, Maybe. Eve doesn’t understand why Q died by suicide. She feels shame for not being able to save him and shame for not seeing beneath his charismatic, successful exterior and place as her husband of more than a decade. She blames herself for not knowing he was in pain, and her journey in this book walks us through those stages of mourning and grief.

There aren’t enough adjectives to properly describe how much I loved Someday, Maybe by Onyi Nwabineli. Please just take my word for it, and pick up this book to experience on your own.