Twelve months ago, I started experiencing debilitating headaches. Originally I thought it was sinus pain, then a tension headache that lingered. But nothing helped, despite multiple discussions with my doctor, new medications, changes to my diet and lifestyle, and a lot of frustration. Working 10-12 hours a day at a computer became unbearable as the headaches moved from the crown of my head to my left temple. Without any answers and a blinding level of pain, I equated the experience to having a burr hole driven into my skull. Four months after the pain began, my doctor diagnosed me with migraines when I finally felt the pain behind my left eye, and she referred me to a neurologist.

Then more tests: a CT, an MRI, lots of blood work. Thankfully these all came back clean as I waited for answers. More to medication changes followed with my neurologist’s not-so-reassuring statement that migraines are difficult to treat and I’d likely need to try three or four medications before we petition my insurance to approve what he was most confident would work, Botox injections. He was right, and I underwent my first procedure in June 2023.

Within a week, I felt a difference. Despite my neurologist’s cautions that I may not see results with the first set of 31 Botox shots into my scalp, neck, and shoulders, I did feel relief. For the first time since Fall 2022, I spent more than 24 hours pain-free. Now I’m coming up on my second Botox appointment and am experiencing more breakthrough pain than I was earlier, including a piercing migraine last week. However, I’m hopeful that with this new round and with any additional rounds, I’ll build more tolerance and eventually be migraine free.

But what have I learned? First, I am grateful for the financial position my family and I are in. While my medical insurance isn’t wonderful, it’s covered the majority of these tests and doctors’ appointments. Beyond that, we’ve been able to cover the co-pays and bills assigned to us. I’m acutely aware that this isn’t the case for many people, and I am grateful.

Two, I am not perfect. I will not be Superwoman. I cannot be. At their peak, my migraines kept me from working a regular schedule. I had to let work slide a bit, and I had to be vulnerable enough to tall my boss and Human Resources that I need accommodations until I am fully recovered. Even when I started to feel better, the pure exhaustion I felt from being in constant pain was immeasurable. I couldn’t give my usual 110%, and I had to be okay with just 100%.

Three, it’s true that you really never know what people are going through beneath the surface. They’re treading water just as frantically as you are, they’re filling holes just as deep as yours, and they’re hiding as many feeling as you have. Give them grace.